a reminder to myself...

Life…
Someone said, taking one step backward will gain you three steps forward. Right now I wish I was strong enough to take that ONE step. Just ONE and I will be fine. And everyone around me will also be fine as I will never speak of that topic again. Hahah!

Life can be such a mess sometimes in all senses but there was a time in my life where I kept reminding myself – don’t let problems be big boulders around you, problems are like small stepping stones to success. Problems are just complicated situations with solutions; don’t make it into an infection of ever growing, putrid, slimy, protruding, apparent green fungus in your life where no anti-fungal can cure. An infection like that can kill and is the source of the ever continuing prescription of Prozac ®, Lexapro ® and others of its kind.

And sadly I have this infection. Taking that ONE step backward will help cure it. Lexapro ® just helps me forget it exist, but does not cure it. This infection will then recur every weekend without fail. I so hate weekends. Since I am helpless in making that ONE step backward, I might as well keep myself busy. For some, keeping themselves busy is a must, not an option, but in this case I have to make it my choice. I loathe the times when I have to go back home to nothing but negative vibes. I do not want to go home into the darkness of life. But then, we don’t always get it the way we want it to be. And thinking of it isn’t going to change anything! But the infection keeps coming back when I am at the brink of being cured. Sometimes life without emotions is the best. Unfortunately since the left and right brain of a female communicates more then male counterparts, we tend to store more emotions. These emotions then boost the growth of the fungus. Then we are constantly blamed for thinking too much. True but inevitable, sometimes. It’s a normal process, evolved from the Stone Ages.

Concluding from a discussion with a very good friend, no matter how strong we are on the outside, no matter how happy we seem when we laugh, we are merely covering up the mess in our minds while injecting some energy into our hearts and deep down we need someone just to be there in an understanding silence where no words are needed to ease the pain, cure the fungus and help us breath.