apple 189

it's jun. 6 more months. can you help make it easier for me? the day is about me. sorry for being a bit selfish but you had it 3 times already. i dont think it is wrong for me to want this day for myself.

and even then i try to make everyone comfortable.
i give up. its up u to you what u want to do. u had three mariages with all focussing on u and now u want the spotlight too. fine. take it.

the groom's family is the so called royal guest and you dont want to consider their wellbeing?
you plan to have everything in the hall.
9 am: nikah
10.30 am: finish nikah
10.45 am: get ready for makan beradab
12.30 pm: makan beradab

1st Q: what is the groom's family going to do between 10.30 and 12.30?
2nd Q: what would happen if there is a delay in the nikah process and it takes till 12.30? where do you want to shove the guests?
3rd Q? do you want us to get married while the caterer and the hall decorator are busy iwht their duties in the hall?

do you want the whole ceremony to suffer just because you still hate my father?????
THIS IS TOO MUCH! AND I AM EMBARASSED TO THE BONE WITH YOUR ATTITUDE!

apple 188

after a discussion with my colleague, i realized that no matter how we try to push the fact out of our heads, the truth still remains. Money! Most Needed. Most Wanted.

if we have the money, time does not matter anymore. we can pay the people to do things the quickest possible. and because we pay, we have the right to demand how we want something to be.

and because we can demand, then money will never be enough. and so the cycle starts again...

apple 187

I need a smaller and taller springform pan.

why? because i think i will be making more cheesecakes in the future :). I was watching Cook Like a Chef and the recipe that day was a Mega Mondo Cheesecake. I hit the keys instantly and found the recipe online. I knew instantly who to make it for.

So i went out to buy cream cheese and it was the 1st time I bought cream cheese in bulk. I didn't even know they came in 2kg packs. Then on the night before I was supposed to present the cake, i fell asleep and woke up at 4am to start working on it. I was afraid it wont set in time as the cake has to be kept in the fridge overnight, but i figured maybe 5 hours would do.

After making the base, it would not cover the floor of my spring form pan. My pan was too big. Oh dear, where would I find a suitable spring form pan at 4 am?! So i decided to use the normal cake tin and line it with baking paper. At first it looked as if it would work but after pouring the second layer of the cake, it seemed that the third layer would over flow. So i placed some more baking paper worund it to act like a 'wall'. Into the oven it went. The cheese mixture did overflow a bit but it was fine.

It took quite a while to cool, but when the sides of the tin was luke warm I decide to put it in the fridge anyway. I hope it did not spil my fridge. After almost 5 hours, it was time to deliver deliciousness. After pouring ganache and placing some mint leaves on top, off it went, baking tin and all.

At the designated venue, we tried to take the cake out by holding the ends of the baking paper. There was a sigh of relief when it came out nicely. The only thing that made the cake look weird was the crevices at the sides where the paper was folded. Other than that, the cake was P-E-R-F-E-C-T!

NyuM!

apple 186

looking at my latest post, it was not as far off as i thought it was.

things has just been so hectic. many times the story i would like to tell types itself in my mind. line after line, created in a cloud above my head. from the time i wanted to scream to this facebook-crazy person beside me in my flight to the moment i made people happy with my cakes. my crazy cakes. when people made red velvet cakes, i made a green one which my sister called the fungus cake. hahah. the funny thing was, i did not even know that it was becoming a trend nowadays for people to make that red cake. i knew from a blog and a friend a few weeks later that it was the 'in' thing. come to think of it, if any cake ensemble calls for grass as its base, i could use that cake anytime.

so then i tried to make a basic vanilla cake with lime cream cheese frosting. and i found the perfect recipe! that's the first. maybe one day i will share the recipe in a seperate blog.

Great! now i'm hungry and because its 10pm, i have to refrain from eating. my dear waist-line, thigh-line, hip-line. whatever you want to call it, i have to minimze it. my body has suddenly hit the brakes on its metabolism and cruised around the same speed for quite sometime. so now its time to speed it up. aahhh...weight lost. its just crazy. a calorie calculator suddenly appears in front of my eyes everytime i look at food. and my mind automatically clasifies food in its own group so my hand will know which to grab and which to let go. it has been a food-tellectual experience and it still is. lets hope my body understand that it has to loose another 5 kg at least in 2 months.

then there's the stress. stress = increased desire to cook = money flowing out to buy ingredients = ready food = increased weight = stress. hahaha! weird equation rite.well, that's life! welcome it with pleasure.

apple 185

i'm in the middle. in the middle of the classess of ages.

are you back yet from your trip?
nah. nt yet. y?
need someone to vent to?
oo..ok..i can still listen.

and the venting went on...

then it hit me. when you reach a certain age and you are alone, then you really are alone. alone in a sense that when you feel like reaching out to someone, you actually have to put more effort to search and scroll through the names you have in your address book to find someone. and this does not include, mum and dad and bro and sis.

and when finally you find a name, that name is either engaged or out-of-reach.
but since your have you minor ego as your company, you won't admit that you are actually lonely. you will just brush it off as 'wrong timing' and move on to yet another hobby you just created.

been there, done that. and not sure what to do to help those in it right now.

apple 184

after almost half-year of not writing, finally i have something worth pouring out of my brain.

are we not considered an excellent worker if we don't work after hours?
are we not considered a hard worker if no matter to what extent we do something right, the wrong is always focussed on?
are we not considered an achiever just because we have another comitment in life which equals family?

it's all very vague when it comes to year end evaluations.
in the working contract, it is mentioned that you work 9-6 with the salary you are paid. but then when you go home on time just because you have family commitments, you are considered incompetent, an under-achiever, a non-accomplisher. and all the hard work done in a year is diminished.

to cut the story short, a bos who does not mix business with personal stuff might be a very boring one, but at least he/she could be a fair one.

apple183

semi-stinky monday after an almost perfect saturday followed by a serene sunday.

lidah berbelit betullah.

you said that you had the machine and now you are not owning up that you said you had the machine. and you are saying it is my fault for not providin? what!

some people are just so difficult to handle and i hate this.

apple 182

Sometimes pictures on fb make me wanna puke. Call me conventional or old-fashioned or kampung even, it doesn't bother me. But can you please put controversial or semi-controversial pictures in your own private album. I know that you are very much in love with your husband. Yep, and you wanna share it with the whole world so you paste it up there. Then the weird thing is, you get angry and pissed of if someone asks you the most famous controversial question : when are you going to get pregnant? aren't you pregnant yet? Then you feel hurt if some people ignore you. Duh! At least they ignore you rather be nice in front of you and rub mud on your face when you are not looking, like what you did.

People like you are more of hipocrites within themselves compared to anyone else. Some pictures are best kept anonymous online.


p/s: Don't worry dear friend in BBU, this is not about you *wink*