Choices..

Sometimes history can teach us very few things and one of it is to be more cautious of the choices we make. I made a choice. I don’t regret making that choice but I was always hopping that the situation would improve for the better. However, after quite some time, there were some good things, but also the situation seemed to get worse at times. Stress was inevitable; a smile was a bonus if it ever existed. Doubt and distrust was forever hanging in the air just waiting to crash down and murder the situation. It's like little goblins hiding and waiting for the opportunity to jump up and destroy happiness every moment it can.

But I try to be as positive as possible, pushing thru and continuing life like there was not a hint of tension. I kept thinking that maybe all this is just to make us stronger to face a future of uncertainty. Yep, history did teach me that. But then, what we learn can’t always be applied. Things got pretty ugly recently that made me think, maybe all these hardship has been screaming out to me that the choice I made was a mistake. There’s sunlight out there somewhere, but just not here. The time is just not right yet for the sunlight to arrive and shine me, although sometimes i think it's rays are already here.

I think it is normal to go and get something better when we see it, but then..why do I feel guilty?