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This morning i woke up and i thougt "if i never got married, it would mean doing everything myself and being totally 100% independant. this included being old and dying".

then the thought was pushed back by the more current memories which i had to attend to. now, it is coming back to me again as i cooked.

talking about cooking, today i made a ginger drink plus lemon, 'masak lodeh' to eat with my 'nasi impit', then there is the fried tempe marinated with cumin, cinnamon powder, salt and chilli powder and last but not least, vanilla ice cream mixed with lemon juice and rind. yummy!

but then..who do i share it with? i share the descriptions of it with my blog and eat them all to myself because there is no one to share 'em with. fun huh.

i guess living alone is not all that bad if you have family and friends who are constantly around you. not in a choking-suffocating kind of way of course. but in a reliable, always-be-there-when-you-need-them, supporting kind of way.

then i noticed something. sometimes, when it comes to other people, we try to make them as comfortable as we can even if things are so negative. when it comes to our own family, we make sure that they realize that whatevere they are saying or doing is so negative that they can't stand it. i didn't know that helping people can be viewed by being so negative and selfish.