apple 180

After lunch was the time i was staring blankly at a locked book closet on the 2nd floor. i was partly checking out the collection of books they had there. Wow! if i had the time and the mental capacity, i wouldn't mind borrowing those books to read.

but also part of me was trying to collect and arrange my thoughts before going back to my desk. in my brain was a clutter of things to do, things that has been done, things to follow-up, things to improve and things to delete from the mind.
After lunch was the time i was staring blankly at a locked book closet on the 2nd floor. i was partly checking out the collection of books they had there. Wow! if i had the time and the mental capacity, i wouldn't mind borrowing those books to read.

but also part of me was trying to collect and arrange my thoughts before going back to my desk. in my brain was a clutter of things to do, things that has been done, things to follow-up, things to improve and things to delete from the mind.

the things to delete part was the most important and hardest part.

Sometimes I feel like I am walking a dream, a routine dream. Wake up, go to work, try not to get stressed, resolve problems, go home, make a phone call, end of day.

Sometimes, I feel like my busyness and my job is like a safety net for me. If I don’t have either of them, I can’t function. So I tend to push the hardest work to the very last minute, which is not a good idea.

Sometimes, I feel guilty when I am not working or not doing any work.

Hmmm…

the walk back to my desk was slow and steady and silent, with my colleague. the body moved as the mind thought of many things. heavy breaths were inhaled.

as i walked pass the door, in the mind: things to be done were arranged, things that has been done will be in a pile on my desk to be sorted out before i leave the office in 2 hours, things to follow-up to be listed on a sticky note and stuck to my left, things to imporove is on the waiting list and things to delete were long gone.

the things to delete part was the most important and hardest part.

the walk back to my desk was slow and steady and silent, with my colleague. the body moved as the mind thought of many things. heavy breaths were inhaled.

as i walked pass the door, in the mind: things to be done were arranged, things that has been done will be in a pile on my desk to be sorted out before i leave the office in 2 hours, things to follow-up to be listed on a sticky note and stuck to my left, things to imporove is on the waiting list and things to delete were long gone.