apple26

it's really hard work. teaching, i mean. it's even harder when teaching is done as a part time job. no guidelines, no supplied references. it's all just based on your own will and inner motivation. outer factors such as money is really not a big help.

this morning i woke up with a big boulder stuck on my shoulders. its really heavy and i don't know where to chuck it. i think my patience is really running out. he did it again. he sulked. he played dumb. he didn't respond. and he is just 14 years old. it wasn't like this before. i could teach him easily before this. nowadays he would just block me out whenever i would say something that disagrees with the negative attitude that he shows me.

it is quite frustrating since i do have the sincere intention to educate him as well as possible. but then i can't really help someone that doesn't want to help himself. it's either that or he is just too lazy.

it's not only him. i do have other difficult kids to teach. and sometimes i wonder whether they do actually have any type of attention deficit or learning disabilities or is it just purely due to laziness and lack of interest or insight.