the smile...

I am smilling again…a smile that is covering up my miseries. Sighing whenever I smile too. I know I need to cook. Cooking is the only way I channel my stress out of my body and mind. Virtually I am in the kitchen, cooking up a nice meatball sauce to eat with my nicely cooked spaghetti. I am now absorbing, experiencing, tasting, living the warmth of that tomato, garlic, and mincemeat and herbs aroma. But in reality, I can’t do all that. I am out of cooking gas, my house mates don’t want to chip in to buy a new one. But deep down, I am fully aware that if I fork out the remaining of whatever cash I have right now to buy the gas, they will most definitely use it to their own pleasure. I don’t think I can live with that fact right now after all I have been through.